A new sexual partner or activity is just the type of novelty that might get you excited to hop in the sack. But your giddiness can also turn into nervousness or self-consciousness. When you're looking for something with fewer unknowns, you might just need a little comfort sex.
What Is Comfort Sex?
Like comfort food, comfort sex is something familiar you might desire during unknown times, when you don't feel your best (emotionally or physically), or when you're especially vulnerable. Comfort sex is reassuring, grounding, supportive, and reliable.
The great thing about this type of sex is that you don't have to worry about performing, exploring, or trying to make it the best sex ever. You can instead fall into routines and rely on tried-and-true techniques. You might not remember the particular session weeks, months, or years in the future, but you'll immediately feel a little better after having comfort sex.
Who Can You Have Comfort Sex With?
Comfort sex doesn't necessarily have to be with a long-term partner, either. That can certainly be one option, but the trust and security you feel with a friend might also make a good foundation for comfort sex. Perhaps that's why so many people have sex with an ex. After all, there's a history there, and you don't have to start from square one. It's a little like riding a bike.
For some people, however, a committed partner is the only way to have comfort sex. It needs to involve love and may be the same as making love. But this doesn't mean you can only have comfort sex in a relationship! You can also have solo comfort sex, AKA masturbation, to help yourself reach equilibrium once more. Run a bath, turn down the lights, pick your playlist, light a candle, and comfort yourself.
However, if you do want to involve a partner with comfort sex, you're more likely to get the comfort you seek if you discuss your goals and intentions at least briefly beforehand. And if your partner lets you know they need the soothing of comfort sex, let them know you appreciate their openness and try to accommodate them if you can. It can increase your closeness.
Does Comfort Sex Have to Be Slow or Gentle?
For many people, comfort sex may be slow and gentle. They might take their time. But comfort sex doesn't have to be either of those things. It's all about what makes you feel comfortable. So if that's rough sex, quick sex, sex with bondage, or a mix of both, that's absolutely okay!
And, hey, if comfort sex involves a break for your favorite comfort food, more power to you!